Attitude Of Gratitude

      This week I want to discuss gratitude. I think along with desire and change that gratitude is probably one of the biggest reasons I maintain my recovery. Gratitude is something that I didn't really notice during my early months of getting clean. It just kind of caught me by surprise. At times I found myself sitting on the pity pot and when I came out of my stupor I started to realize how much I had  to be grateful for. Who did I think I was feeling bad for myself when there were so many other people worst off than me? The longer I stayed in recovery the more grateful I became. Funny how that works.
   I Googled the definition for the word "Gratitude" and this is what it said: "The quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return the kindness." I was most certainly thankful and more than ready to show my appreciation, but that last part I had a little trouble with. "To return the kindness." When I think about returning kindness as a recovering addict, I think about returning what I was given as a newcomer. There's a little-known slogan in the halls of A.A. that says, "you can't keep it if you don't give it away." Showing my gratitude, my thankfulness and returning a kindness that was shown to me is as easy as giving it back. Simple isn't it?
   How do you do that you might say? There are lots of ways to give back and to show your gratitude. Welcoming another newcomer that you see at a meeting by holding a hand out to shake or giving a hug. You could offer your number to a phone list that's going around to help someone that is new and needs contacts. Inviting someone out for coffee after a meeting or it could be as simple as offering a ride home or to the next meeting. There are numerous ways to give back and not every way has to be associated with A.A. either. You could reach out to another member in a group therapy class you attend. Maybe someone else that goes to your church has struggled with getting sober and could use your help. If you look closely I'm sure it won't be too hard to find others who need support when it comes to fighting this disease.

   Without gratitude, you won't remain substance-free for long. I know this from experience. I also know how hard it is when you're still in active addiction to feel any gratitude at all. What could I possibly be thankful for you may ask yourself? If you're alive today, if you woke up and you still have your physical freedom ..well, there's two things right there. The longer you stay sober and the more recovery you retain, the more gratitude you'll feel. I never use to think about gratitude when I was using, when I was homeless or sick, going through withdrawals or getting arrested again. When I was losing or lost so was my gratitude.  My gratitude came back to me when I changed. It came back to me when I was thankful for all I had been given and all I had earned through hard work and determination. I became grateful when others showed me that there was another way and that I didn't have to travel that road alone. I was grateful that there was a place for me and my daughter to be safe while I got sober and found myself again. I was grateful to the counselor's and case managers and other recovering addicts who supported me and believed in me and were invested in my recovery even when I was not. More then anything I'm grateful for a second chance at life. When all hope was lost and I thought I would die an addict alone on the streets, I was shown that it's never too late for anybody to get and stay sober.
    Gratitude is a huge part of maintaining your recovery. I don't believe you can have one without the other. I've tried and it doesn't work. There's another expression that I've heard in the halls of A.A. and it says, "A grateful heart will never use." I think it's true and I know that today my heart is grateful. Is yours?

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